Girlfriend v7.0 vs. Wife v1.0

I found this joke , and thought it was pretty funny the only problem was that it was written for a Windows/Non-Free audience. So I re-tooled it to be Free Software friendly. I also tried to make it more bug-report-esqe, so here is.

Package: Wife
Version: 1.0


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0.5.3 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space, swap, and other valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3.6 , Football 5.0.42 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5.9.4 , and Racing 3.6.5

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0.5.3 , but the shell script to uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User…..

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REPLY:
Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0.5.3 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by the contributors to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.5.3 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0.5.3 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Try running "man Wife 1.0" and looking under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest compiling the plug-in "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command "sh /usr/bin/apologize.sh" because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great project, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.2.7 , Cook It 1.5.6b and Do Bills 4.2.8 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag 9.5.2. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to compile additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1.5 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This package is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

The Wife Team